Cheating Existence
by Allyson
Summary: "I am the Inquisitor," boomed the looming figure. "You, William the Bloody, have been found unworthy of having existed. You will be judged on your continuance existence. Failure receives deletion."


Title - Cheating Existence.  
  
Rating - PG  
  
Disclaimer - I do not own anything to do with Red Dwarf or Buffy the Vampire Slayer - it's just for fun.  
  
Summary - Cross over between Red Dwarf and BVS - Spike faces the Inquisitor.  
  
CHEATING EXISTENCE.  
  
"Spike! What do you think you are doing?"  
  
Buffy's voice rang out through the graveyard causing the vampire to freeze in his tracks.  
  
Spike smiled as he turned to find Buffy standing behind him, hands on her hips.  
  
"Just in the neighbourhood," shrugged Spike, nonchalantly snapping the neck of the biker vampire he had caught hold of. "Thought you might want some help, Luv."  
  
"I'll never need your help, Spike," the young Slayer replied, coldly. "The government may have de-fanged you but I don't trust you. Stay away from me, my friends and Dawn."  
  
Spike glared back at her, hurt by what she had said. His angry retort, however, died in the back of his throat as he realised that Buffy had suddenly become uncharacteristically still and silent.  
  
"Buffy!" he called out in warning.  
  
A dark figure dressed head to toe in black, complete with cloak and one bulky oversized glove, and a startling ivory bone-protruding mask appeared behind Buffy. The gaping menacing eye-sockets unnerved Spike in a chilling way. Buffy, however, did not respond to Spike's warning or to the sudden presence of the mysterious figure.  
  
Picking up the battle-axe he had dropped previously, Spike advanced towards the stranger.  
  
"Right mate," he threatened, moving to defend Buffy's inanimate form. "Return the Slayer back to normal before I rip your throat out and beat you to death with it."  
  
When no response was given, Spike demanded, "Who are you? What do you want?"  
  
"I am the Inquisitor," boomed the looming figure. "You, William the Bloody, have been found unworthy of having existed. You will be judged on your continuance existence. Failure receives deletion."  
  
"Deletion?" Repeated Spike, taken off guard by the strange response.  
  
"Those who have not lead a worthwhile life will be erased out of existence and another will be selected to take their place," instructed the Inquisitor. "Prove to me you are worthy of the honour of life or lose that gift for eternity. State your case."  
  
Spike didn't know whether to laugh or rip the stranger's throat out. "Sod off."  
  
"All must answer to the Inquisitor!"  
  
Spike had had enough. "You want my answer?" He swiftly swung his battle-axe catching the Inquisitor with a glancing blow to the side of his head followed by a powerful uppercut that sent the Inquisitor stumbling backwards. Spike felt his knuckles crack. "That good enough for you?"  
  
"You have no purpose in this world, Vampire," his adversary taunted, ducking from the battle-axe. "You have created no achievements only a high death rate in your wake. What can you offer to preserve your existence?"  
  
"What do you know of my achievements?" demanded Spike, bitterly. "Yes, I've killed over the years and I don't regret it. Ending up in Sunnyhell, protecting Buffy and the little bit is worth my failed past. There are worse things out in this world than me and I'd willingly give my life for the Slayer and her sister. That's good enough for me to keep on living."  
  
"A compelling argument," replied the Inquisitor, as he began tapping at the controls on his time-glove. "William the Bloody, you have been judged. You have failed to be what you could easily have been long ago. You will be erased from this existence."  
  
"Not bloody likely!" Spike lunged at the Inquisitor and tackled him to the ground. "You can't take my life away I'm already dead. I've got two girls who need my help surviving Sunnydale and I won't let you take that away from me." With that he snapped the Inquisitor's neck. "Doesn't mean the Big Bad is gone though."  
  
Turning, Spike jerked as Buffy's fist connected with his chin. "Oh, smeg."  
  
Then the world turned black.  
  
THE END. 


End file.
